Don't Look Back
by MrsTater
Summary: When Harry's coming of age party and Bill and Fleur's wedding bring Remus and Tonks for a few days' stay at the Burrow, trouble with Molly forces Remus to revisit the past, threatening his resolve to go through with plans for the future.
1. Part One

Originally written for the October 2006 Half Moon Rising Fic Jumble at **MetamorFic Moon**, this story follows the **Transfigured Hearts** series and is set during the summer following _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_. (Written before _Deathly Hallows_, so not canon-compliant after HBP.) Many thanks to **Godricgal**, the best beta reader in the universe.

* * *

**Part One**

"Thank Merlin you're here!"

Molly's shrill voice pierced Remus' ears as he stepped out of the fireplace into the Burrow's sitting room. He swept his sooty fringe out of his eyes and peered into the kitchen just as she dropped a wooden spoon mid-stir and bustled toward him.

"We've just had an owl from Harry!" she said frantically, drawing a crumpled parchment from her apron pocket.

Remus' heart jumped and lodged painfully into his throat. "What's happened to Harry?"

Tonks, having heard him as she emerged from the Floo, clutched at his arm; his own fingers seemed likely to pinch the handle of their suitcase in half.

"Nothing's happened," said Arthur steadily as he rose from the lumpy, well-used sofa, and laid his _Evening Prophet _on the coffee table.

Before Remus' heart could return to its natural state, or Tonks' grip on his arm could relax, Molly pinned Arthur with a scowl and said, "Nothing's _happened _except Harry's gone _mad_."

"Don't be ridiculous, Mum," said Ginny, from the kitchen table. The surface was strewn with pink ribbon, tulle, and heart-shaped sweets. "Harry just wants to Apparate by himself on his birthday." She aggressively tied a pink bow around a small favour bag. "He'll be seventeen, in case you forgot."

"Ginny," Arthur chided. "But she's right, Molly. Harry's a perfectly normal young man coming of age."

Rolling her eyes, Ginny got up from the table and stretched her limbs. As her gaze settled on Tonks' hand on Remus' arm, the teenager's stroppy expression vanished, replaced with a bright grin. Remus felt transported back to his own youth, when he'd dared to hold hands with a girlfriend in the Common Room, and others' awareness of his attached status brought a pleasant mixture of self-consciousness and pride.

"Hello Professor Lupin," Ginny said. "Hi, Tonks."

"Hello, Ginny." Remus set the suitcase on the floor so he could shake Arthur's hand. "You needn't call me Professor."

"Wotcher, Ginny!" Tonks swiped more soot off Remus' shoulder as she tripped over the suitcase en route to hug Ginny. "Ooh, wedding favours?"

When she drew apart from Ginny, Tonks scrunched up her face; like a struck match, the pink spikes suddenly flickered flame red, lengthening to fall in gleaming waves past her shoulders. Molly beamed as Tonks turned to hug her, but the worry lines returned to her round face as Remus gently prised Harry's letter from her hand.

"He _can't_ do this, can he, Remus?" Molly asked, expression begging him to take her side.

_This_, Remus discovered as he perused the note, was Harry's brief thanks for Molly's invitation to the Burrow for his birthday and the wedding, and the announcement that he'd Apparate there after lunch tomorrow.

"I don't see why not," Remus replied, "if he's got his license."

Molly's mouth dropped open, and her wide eyes blinked at Remus in disbelief for a moment before she pulled herself together and cried, "He can't take the test till he's of age!"

"I bet he's planning to be at the Ministry first thing to take it," Tonks said reassuringly, one arm still around Molly, squeezing her shoulder. With a reminiscent smile, she added, "It was the only thing I could think of for weeks before my seventeenth birthday."

Remus grinned back at her, but his face fell as Molly appraised him warily.

"Have you sorted this with Harry already?" she asked. "Are you taking him to the Ministry?"

"This is the first I've heard of it," Remus replied slowly, concern dawning as he considered the possibility of Harry placing himself in the open to fly to the Ministry. Surely an Apparition license was not worth _that _risk. Though, he did have James' Invisibility Cloak…

"Scrimgeour's sending an examiner to Harry's aunt and uncle's house," said Ginny, plopping into her chair at the table again. Pulling an expression of disgust, she added in a tone that matched, "Probably a bribe to get Harry on team."

Tonks snorted as she took a seat across from Ginny. "And of course Harry'll jump at the chance to get his license, then stick two fingers at the Ministry for what they did to him in '95."

Remus couldn't help but chuckle. "Sirius would no doubt approve."

"You see, Molly?" Arthur said, patting her shoulder. "Harry's a bright boy. It's fine."

"It's _not_ fine!" Molly retorted, glancing sharply back at him. Arthur's hand fell to his side. "Harry's--"

"--coming of age tomorrow," Remus broke in quietly.

Sputtering, Molly glanced at Tonks, as though for support; but Tonks' gaze was fixed on Remus.

"The Order," Molly said, looking at Remus again, pleadingly. "We've been protecting--"

"A boy," said Remus. "Harry's a man now, Molly."

"It's actually safer this way," Tonks added. "He'll attract far less attention on his own. Virtually none, really."

Molly pinched her lips together indignantly, but then the colour drained from her face as her shoulders sagged with a deep sigh. She moved closer to Remus, then glanced back at Ginny; the latter had resumed making favour bags, but her attention was rapt on her mother and former professor.

Leaning close, Molly reached for Remus' hand and half-whispered, "I've heard the children talking. Harry's not planning to go back to school."

"Mum!" Ginny cried. "Have you been using Extendable Ears?"

Molly's eyes darted to the floor, and she swallowed guiltily. Remus was hard-pressed not to laugh as she said, "Don't eavesdrop, Ginevra."

"Molly, you haven't..." Arthur began, but let the thought trail away..

Snipping a length of ribbon, Ginny muttered to Merlin about nosy, overprotective mothers.

Remus' urge to laugh became more difficult to resist when he stupidly glanced at Tonks and saw her biting at twitching lips to keep from doing so herself. He forced himself to take this as seriously as Molly was, or she'd stay wound up till Harry arrived safe and sound tomorrow, and get everyone else wound up as well. And wrench his hand off. Remus covered hers with his other hand, a comforting gesture he hoped would disguise the fact that he was trying to pull away. But Molly clutched at him.

Arthur let out a sigh of frustration -- or resignation. "I don't want to argue with you about this again." He turned and strode toward the front door. "I'll be out in my worksh--"

He paused at the broom cupboard as though he'd heard something within, but then shook his head and went outside.

The instant the door shut, Molly implored, "You'll talk with Harry about it, won't you, Remus?" Her eyes brimmed. "Ron and Hermione -- _Hermione_, of all people! -- are talking about not going back, either."

She drew a deep breath, but the tears pooled in spite of her valiant efforts to compose herself. Turning away, she began to tidy her knitting implements, which were already arranged neatly in a basket beside an armchair.

Tonks, eyes wide with compassion, rose quickly from her chair, upsetting it in the process.

"Those twins!" Molly cried miserably. "Their recklessness has given everyone ideas…They're too young to own businesses, get married, fight in wars…"

In her pause, Remus noticed that the snick of Ginny's scissors had ceased; in his periphery, he saw her watching her mother with an expression that was equally guilty and troubled.

"They're my _children_…"

Overcome, Molly sank into the armchair and sobbed into what appeared to be half of a lilac jumper. Tonks rescued it from her as Remus drew a handkerchief from his pocket and pressed it into her hands. He stood to the side and rubbed Molly's back, a bit shaken himself as he recalled the harrowing and heartbreaking image of Molly's boggart shifting into dead Bill…dead Charlie…dead twins…dead Ron…dead Ginny…dead Harry.

"This is going to be a lovely jumper," Tonks said, looking over the work-in-progress.

Remus was about to give her another look of gratitude for distracting Molly, but he stopped as this somehow increased her woes.

"It's for…F-F-Fleur…" Molly dabbed her red eyes with the crumpled hanky. "D-do you think she'll…" She sniffled. "…l-like it?"

"Of course she'll like it," Tonks said sincerely. "It's soft as Fairy Floss, and the colour will look beautiful with her complexion and eyes."

Molly smiled weakly, but it didn't fill her eyes. "I didn't knit her one for Christmas. Simply horrible of me. When I remember the look on her face when everyone had a present to open but her…"

A strangled wail lodged in her throat, and for another moment her face was hidden behind the soggy hanky.

"Don't look back, Molly," said Tonks, touching Molly's arm. "Fleur's forgiven you."

"Yeah," said Ginny, moving to stand behind Molly's chair. Leaning over the back, she slipped her arms loosely around her mother's neck. "You more than made up for the jumper by letting her wear Great Auntie Muriel's tiara for the wedding."

Pulling the handkerchief away, Molly looked up at Ginny and pressed her hand. "Fleur's a lovely girl, inside and out. Just like you, dear." She smiled at Tonks. "And you. Would you like to see it? Ginny, run and fetch the tiara to show Tonks."

When Ginny had gone, Molly rose from her chair and resumed her compulsive tidying.

"I'm sorry." She cast a cleaning charm on Remus' handkerchief, which also crisply starched it. "I always get so silly about these things…"

"You are _not _being silly," said Remus. "You're a _mother_."

Molly smiled sadly. "But I'm an Order member, too. And obviously I haven't got my pri--"

At the sound of voices in the hall and feet thumping on the stairs, Molly fell silent and hastily tucked Fleur's jumper into her knitting basket beside the chair.

Bill rounded the corner of the stairwell, one hand in his trouser pocket, the other twined with Fleur's. Remus thought the younger wizard's casually confident stride seemed strangely juxtaposed with his disfigured face. The wounds made it physically impossible for Bill to grin as widely as he had used to, but somehow it had not lost its brightness. Returning Bill's firm handshake, listening to his jocular talk about the fast-approaching wedding, Remus saw a man who refused to hide from the world, who allowed the woman he loved to restore what had been so cruelly taken from him, and was ashamed that _he_ had allowed patched robes and greying hair and fear to come between him and the remarkable young woman who could have carried him through his dark year underground.

But when Ginny bounded downstairs with a silk-lined velvet box and carefully withdrew an intricately wrought, jewel-encrusted tiara, Tonks' small, warm hand found its way into his. The simple, affectionate gesture dispelled Remus' guilt and made it impossible for him not to hold his shoulders erect. He released her hand and slipped a bold arm around her waist.

"Eet eez ze perfect 'eadpiece for me, no?" said Fleur, snatching the tiara from Ginny and settling it on her silvery-blonde head. "I seemply could not find one in ze shops zat did me justice. Eet eez very lucky this was in Bill's family."

Over Fleur's shoulder, Ginny rolled her eyes and again appealed to Merlin through clenched teeth. Molly's pursed lips twitched in the unmistakable look of trying not to show her annoyance. Tonks turned slightly into Remus, her slim frame quivering against his side as she laughed silently.

"It's too beautiful not to be shared," said Molly. "Tonks, you could borrow it when…"

She -- and Ginny, looking remarkably like her -- looked at Tonks as if to ask if there were wedding plans in the works. Remus glanced down at her, and saw her cheeks tinged with pink. His fingers lightly stroked her waist.

"Try it on, Tonks!" Ginny urged.

Oddly, Tonks' body went rigid, and she held herself away from Remus. "Oh no, I couldn't--"

"Do!" said Molly. "You'll look lovely."

Fleur's lips pressed together in a tight smile as she slowly raised her hands and reluctantly removed the tiara; her brows arched dubiously as she held it out to Tonks.

As Tonks' uncharacteristic blush deepened, Remus' first thought was that she was embarrassed to have assumptions made about her love life -- but immediately an inner voice told him this was _his _way of thinking. The old way of thinking. Which had to stop. Tonks was embarrassed because she thought this talk of weddings was making _him _uncomfortable. And while Remus had always valued his privacy, everyone here was wise to the very worst of his personal life. Why should he be embarrassed for them to see his intention for his relationship with Tonks to be permanent? Tonks needed his public affirmation as much as his private reassurances.

Maybe even more.

Squeezing her hip, Remus drew her against him again. Tonks looked up at him, and when he smiled, her face bloomed with happiness.

As Molly settled the tiara on Tonks' head, and Ginny arranged her hair, Remus found himself mesmerised by Tonks' unusual shyness. She was completely feminine and happy, obviously unused to this sort of attention, but clearly enjoying it. He could easily imagine her in this prettily flustered state, dressing for her wedding.

_Her wedding to him._

The hand not around her slipped inside his trouser pocket, and Remus closed his fingers around a cool, metallic band.

"How do I look?" Tonks asked.

She was so beautiful that Remus, to his chagrin, had no words. Thankfully, the Weasley women accessed every synonym, and Tonks, whose confidence in her appearance had faltered during her year of not being able to morph, looked delighted -- if a little askance -- when Fleur whipped a hand mirror from her pocket and showed her reflection.

Remus' heart gave a little lurch, however, when Tonks' forehead dimpled suddenly, and she said, "Not quite right."

To his relief, all Tonks meant was her hair; she scrunched up her nose, and the straight locks cascading her back coiled tightly as autumnal red budded into a rosy hue. Tonks' familiar, wide grin of satisfaction completed the look as she studied her pink ringlets in the mirror.

"Perfect!" said Ginny over Fleur's disapproving sniff.

Underneath her wide smile, Molly's expression was closer to Fleur's than to Ginny's. "You wouldn't really do pink for your wedding, would you?"

"I was thinking about this, too," Tonks said -- and her cute nose enlarged and became more upturned than normal…

A pig snout.

Bill's and Ginny's faces went red as their hair as they roared. For a moment Molly's and Fleur's expressions matched -- but then even they couldn't deny Tonks' comedic genius.

Remus, however, kept a straight face when Tonks fluttered her lashes at him and asked what he thought. Gallantly, he bent and pecked the tip of the snout without the slightest grimace -- an action that would surely earn him a luxury of points. "You've a truly alluring flair for style, Nymphadora."

Her dark eyebrows slanted sharply as one hand flew to her hip, and the index finger of the other poked him in the nose. "Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus, or you'll be wearing a snout, too. And you won't be able to morph it away."

So much for points.

Bill howled with laughter, but Remus noted how Ginny's eyes had stopped dancing and she watched his interaction with Tonks; there was a look of hunger much like the one Tonks had worn all year.

"It's so good to have you back to yourself, dear," said Molly, reaching out to stroke Tonks' pink curls in a very maternal way, and casting Remus an approving look.

Suddenly, she looked toward the door. "I should go speak with Arthur. Ginny, will you put a pot on to boil, and clear off the kitchen table? I've got to get dinner started."

Ginny cast a baleful eye at the table. "Fleur, will you help me put away _your _wedding favours?"

Without any acknowledgment of Ginny, Fleur gestured for Tonks to remove the tiara. "I will put ze tiara away, eef you please."

Ginny let out an exaggerated _hmph _of exasperation, but Bill pressed his finger to his lips as he moved to help his little sister clear the wedding paraphernalia off the table.

Fleur's eyes were wide and -- Remus thought -- unduly terrified for a Triwizard Champion as she watched Tonks try to remove the headpiece, only to get it tangled in her ringlets. When Remus freed it and carefully nestled it into the velvet box, Fleur said judiciously to Tonks, "Eet looks very pretty on you. Not as elegant as on me, but zen we do not all have veela for Grandmozzers. I think you should wear eet for your wed--"

"RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!"

All heads snapped around to see Molly stumbling backward, red-faced, from the open broom cupboard door, as Ron and Hermione -- dishevelled and flushed, with swollen, red lips -- emerged. Remus thought a human face had never been a more bewildered expression. Except perhaps his own, when he'd had a crash course in human mating rituals when he'd caught Sirius in a very compromising position with a girl in a Hogwarts broom cupboard. 

"WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU LEARN THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR?"

"Not from five older brothers," Bill murmured, "or from parents who go at it like a pair of rabbits."

Tonks gave a little shriek of laughter, but Fleur whacked her fiancé on the arm. "Do not be crass, Bill!"

Molly caught Ron by the shoulder and turned him to face the lounge full of gawping company. "NOW ACT LIKE A CIVILISED WIZARD AND CARRY REMUS' AND TONKS' SUITCASE UP TO THEIR ROOM!"

As Ron saw Remus for the first time, his blue eyes widened -- whether with awe or alarm, Remus could not guess. Possibly some mixture of the two, Remus gauged from Ron's contemplative look as he toted the shared luggage up to the guest room.

Without a word or eye contact with anyone, Hermione blustered to the kitchen to help Ginny. Remus just caught a snatch of her whisper: "I don't know, we just suddenly…" before Molly's voice broke in, "Remus, please will you talk to them?"

His mouth went dry. He swallowed, but his Adam's apple seemed to stick in his dry throat. "T-talk to them?" he croaked.

Ron was of age. Surely Arthur had talked to him…Or surely Ron didn't need it, having five older brothers, as Bill had so astutely observed.

Rolling her eyes, Molly let out a puff that Remus thought might have been laughter. . "I mean about finishing school!"

Somehow the subject was no less daunting than the birds and the bees.

"I'll do what I can."

* * *

_**A/N: I continue to be amazed and delighted with my readers' response to the Transfigured Hearts series, and I hope you like my first follow-up to those stories. Those who let me know what you think will get a visit from Remus via the Floo Network. Whether he comes through with soot in his fringe is up to you, but I highly recommend the untidy version – he's so fun to clean up. ;)**_


	2. Part Two

******Part Two**

**  
**The rhythm of getting ready for bed was all off. It wasn't because Remus and Tonks were spending the night at the Burrow instead of their flat; they had brushed their teeth together and taken turns washing their faces, as was their routine.

What was different was that all of it had been done without Tonks' usual chatter.

It started out as a companionable silence, and Remus had been content simply to watch her go about her nightly rituals. In fact, he'd revelled in her look of peaceful contemplation, recalling how it had been before their reconciliation, with their syncopated thoughts and emotions clamouring beneath the surface, making the very air between them frenetic. How good it was to have moved past that…

Yet where Remus used to love puzzling out the mysteries in her dark eyes, which were deeper and even more alluring in the shifting light of the candle on the bedside table, happily biding his time until she chose to reveal them, he now found himself buttoning his pyjama shirt with agitated fingers as she curled on her side in the bed, a faint crease forming between her eyebrows as she sank into deeper thought. There was no indication on her face that she would voice her musings any time soon.

Abandoning the last few buttons, Remus crossed the room in a few strides. He sat on the edge of the bed facing her, curling one leg underneath and leaving the other dangling over the side. "What's got you looking so pensive?"

Tonks rolled onto her back and smiled up at him. His heart thudded to a slow pace; he hadn't realised till now that it had sped up with nervous anticipation. Returning her smile, he brushed the pink fringe back from Tonks' forehead, and traced her high cheekbone with his thumb.

"Molly," Tonks replied. "I was thinking about what an amazing witch she is."

Remus arched an eyebrow. "Because she can plan a wedding reception, coming of age party, cook a roast dinner, and knit next Christmas' jumpers all at once?"

"So could my mum," Tonks said, rolling her eyes, but not quite managing to sound unimpressed. Turning onto her side again, she reached for him; Remus stretched out facing her and rested his hand on the hipbone revealed as her top rode up, fingers stroking light patterns on her skin.

"Molly looks after so many people like they're her family," Tonks said. "I've never felt that close to my mum. I don't know how I'd have got through last year without Molly's tea and sympathy."

There was no resentment in her voice -- there never was -- but a little shock of guilt cut through Remus' chest. He shifted closer to her, sliding his hand around to rest in the small of her back as he tangled his legs with hers. It was not the time for apologies, but he hoped his affection communicated his regret as well as the assurance that he would do all that lay within his power to prevent putting her through another such year.

"She certainly can lay on a guilt trip as thick as my mum could," he said.

Tonks' laughter was a warm breath against his neck. "I hope I can be like that -- well, not the guilt trip bit -- when I…"

Her words trailed away, and for a moment Remus thought she was merely growing sleepy. When a minute or so passed, and he felt her posture stiffen slightly and her pulse quicken, he realised she was again hesitating to speak of a permanent future.

Difficult as it was for Remus to do so, he'd promised her in the days following Dumbledore's death that he would have faith in their future, and reassure her of his constancy, so he plunged in for her. "When we have a family, I have no doubt you will be the best of wives and mothers."

Her lips brushed his chin as she raised her face. When she leant back in his arms to look into his eyes, the shine of hers was so brilliant that Remus reached for his trouser pocket, the words Will you marry me? on the tip of his tongue --

-- only to remember that he was wearing pyjama bottoms, and the object he sought was hidden away in the bureau.

The moment of hesitation over whether to get up, or to Summon the ring, was enough time for him to talk himself out of the impulsive proposal. He'd already planned it. It wasn't exactly the Marauderesque proposal he'd promised her, but it would catch her off-guard -- he hoped it would, anyway – but it would be romantic. What could be more so, or more symbolic, than proposing at a wedding?

He kissed her lips gently, lingeringly, and she made a sound of contentment before snuggling against his chest again, wrapping her arms around his waist. Her slight fingers worked their way under his shirt, and traced warm paths up and down his spine.

Stroking her hair -- back to her usual length, though neither spiky nor curled -- Remus said, "Your heart has as great a capacity for others as Molly's does."

Tonks' hands stopped moving over his back, and her arms slackened around him.

"What is it?" Remus asked.

He knew the instant she disentangled her legs from his and moved to sit up that he'd prodded a particularly sensitive issue. Tonks drew her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. Propping himself on one elbow, Remus lay his other hand on her knee.

"You can tell me," he said -- then it occurred to him that she might not be ready to discuss it. He'd interrupted her thoughts. "Or if you don't want to…"

"Sometimes I feel like everything I've got's poured into you and my work," Tonks said, eyes on his hand on her knee. Abruptly, they flicked sidelong to meet his. "And sometimes I'm not sure I'm even able to give you as much as you need."

The engagement ring in his trouser pocket in the bureau felt as inaccessible to Remus as Tonks had during his year underground.

It was just as well.

Of course he couldn't expect her to be ready for marriage. Rebuilding that level of trust would take a long time.

He would start now.

Sitting fully upright, Remus held her face between his hands and drew her to look at him. "You have always been everything I need," he said. "I'm no expert, but it seems the capacity for love increases as you gain people to love. And…" He swallowed, and glanced over her shoulder at the ancient headboard as he went on. "…your work will be different, once the war is over."

Tonks nodded. Smile returning, she sat up straighter. "I'm glad you think I'm deep enough."

Remus leant in for a kiss, allowing his fingers to slide into her pink hair. "How could I not?"

"I did morph a pig snout whilst wearing an heirloom tiara."

"Believe me, it requires a great deal of depth to do that in public."

Tonks laughed, but Remus' chuckle died as his thoughts drifted back to the conversation preceding Tonks' hilarity.

"If either of us should worry about our capacity to care for others," he said, lowering his hands into his lap, glancing down as he picked at the worn knees of his pyjamas, "it's me."

Face very pale, chin and cheek muscles taut, Tonks slid back against the pillows. "Don't start--"

"I don't mean that," Remus interjected.

Relief relaxed Tonks' features, but her gaze remained hard, discerning. Breaking their eye contact, Remus ran a hand through his fringe, over his scruffy cheek. "I mean…Well -- Harry."

Tonks' brows knit. "What about Harry?"

Remus lay down again, and Tonks slid down beside him, drawing the quilts up over them. Facing each other again, but not touching, Remus said, "Molly seems to think I ought to be stepping into Sirius' role."

"What do you think?"

Remus fingered the stitching at the edge of his pillowcase. The thread was mismatched in a few sections, where the original hem had come undone and Molly had mended it.

"I've never thought Harry expected me to fill that place. I was only his teacher."

"And one of his father's best mates."

"But not his father," said Remus evenly, rolling onto his back. "Or even his godfather."

Even though the only light in the room was from the flickering candle on the bedside table, his eyes immediately went to the corner of the ceiling he'd noticed last Christmas, where the plaster was chipped.

"Harry's a man now," Remus went on. "He's so important…None of us can determine his path, or protect him."

Out the corner of his eye, he saw the sheets slip off Tonks' bare shoulder as she pushed up on one elbow. Remus turned his head, noted her eyes wide with something akin to shock, and returned his gaze to the ceiling flaw.

"I suppose that sounds strange coming from me," he said.

Tonks lay a hand on his chest, and as she reclined again, rested her head on his shoulder and hooked a leg across his thighs. "It was strange when the opposite came from you."

Her touch, the closeness of her body, and her words brought clarity. "The only thing I've felt comfortable with in regard to Harry," said Remus, "has been to make myself available to him."

"But you've second guessed yourself?"

"This is me we're talking about."

Absently stroking her wrist, Remus pondered why he had. Was there any solid evidence that he'd not succeeded? He thought of Harry asking him and Sirius about the memory from Snape's Pensieve; he thought of the past Christmas, when Harry had asked about him , personally.

"Harry's seemed comfortable enough with me to ask questions," Remus said. "I suppose I've done right by him."

Tonks leant over him and kissed his chest where he'd left his shirt unbuttoned. Peering up at him through tousled pink hair, she said, "Don't look back, Remus."

Remus touched her face, and wondered if he would ever cease being fascinated by the softness of her skin, or the way his palm covered her cheek. It seemed impossible. "I only want to look at you."

Eyes sparkling again, Tonks turned her head to kiss his palm, then abruptly flopped onto her back.

"Talking of questions…" She pulled the blankets up to her chin. "…Ginny asked me a few. Did you know she and Harry got together last spring?"

"Did they?"

"Mmm, for a little while. He broke it off because of…whatever Dumbledore's asked him to do."

How could she say it like that, without a hint of pointedness, as though there were no parallel to her own love life? That she did not accuse compelled Remus to resist the natural impulse -- no, the habit -- of apologising for making her the authority on that situation. It required a great deal of effort, and the strain was evident in his voice as he asked, "What did you tell her?"

Tonks turned her head and looked at him steadily. "That I'd have a talk with you about having a talk to set Harry straight."

Remus' heart hung, suspended, in his chest --

-- until Tonks let out a startling puff of laughter and clapped a hand over her mouth. Just as quickly, she pulled it away again to grab his hand. "Oh, Remus, your face! I'm taking the piss!"

"Considering what Molly put me through before dinner," he said, as unsuccessful at sounding admonishing as she was at sounding apologetic, "that's really not funny."

"But it is. And don't worry, I know you'll get me back." Her eyes were impish black slits as she laughed, and her lithe elfin frame enticed as her skimpy top rode up, baring a substantial amount of creamy skin.

Just as Remus reached for her, the trembling of her taut abdominal muscles quelled, and Tonks was looking at him with grave eyes. "I told Ginny it wasn't really the same situation as you and me. But…What has Harry to do?"

Remus noticed that the candle on the nightstand was burning low, the glow not even extending to the edges of the bed.

"Harry will do whatever Dumbledore asked him to do."

After long moments of staring silently up into the darkness, Tonks said in a low tone, "They're older than I was at seventeen."

"You'd already made up your mind to be an Auror when you were seventeen."

"And you joined the Order soon after you finished school."

"James and Lily weren't much older when they died." A shiver coursed along Remus' spine, and he rolled onto his side, closer to Tonks. She did the same, allowing him to spoon her, and her back was so warm and firm against him. "I think we're the old ones."

"That's how you're getting over this too old thing, is it? Lumping me in with you?"

Remus leant over her shoulder to kiss the soft spot between her jaw and ear. The hairs on her neck stood as she snuggled into him. "I decided that since you can look older than me…"

"You realise you've practically dared me to morph in bed?" Tonks said, and cast a sly look over her shoulder.

Instantly Remus shifted on top of her, rolling her onto her back. "I dare you to try and concentrate enough to make one hair grey, you saucy little minx."

He chuckled against her mouth as unfamiliar coarse hair brushed his forehead, and the smooth skin of her neck became pruny. He deepened the kiss, and with a sigh Tonks' body returned to her natural state.

Remus broke away to whisper in her ear, "I win."

* * *

**  
__****A/N: Thanks for your response to the first chapter. I'm delighted to know so many people are excited to see more in the Transfigured Hearts universe. Hope you like how the story's unfolding. This time, those who comment will get their choice of Remus to have a bedtime chat with: sensitive Remus, who wants to know what you've got to say; broody Remus, who wants your advice and comfort about his insecurities; or flirty Remus who makes bedtime dares...**


	3. Part Three

******Part Three**  


Given the reaction at the Burrow to Harry's letter about his arrival, the to-do that commenced when Harry actually turned up was no surprise. Remus hung back from the crowd of Weasleys in the yard -- Charlie had arrived from Romania via Portkey, and the twins had closed shop early. Molly made a fuss over Harry, scrutinising the young man as though she expected to find some vital bit splinched off, or some sign of a mid-Apparition battle with Death Eaters. Harry's cheeks flushed as Molly hugged him and bemoaned his thinness.

Remus, knowing exactly how that felt, was tempted to rescue Harry. He refrained, however, knowing that, even though _he _had been so low and put off by attention, coddling concern had also been vital in keeping him going last year. At least Harry could be sure he was loved -- and Remus thought Molly deserved not to feel as though she must forsake maternal instinct for the greater good.

It was Harry's sad, strained hello to Ginny that was most difficult to watch. Harry looked so like James: utterly smitten; but James' long-time unrequited love of Lily could not compare to _this_. Part of Remus wanted to go to Harry at once, as Tonks had jokingly suggested, and discuss it man-to-man. But no, it would be too invasive -- and Molly was sweeping Harry inside for birthday tea.

After the meal, Molly banished everyone to the sitting room whilst she did the washing up. The sofa filled with Weasleys before Remus and Tonks could sit down together. When he offered her the remaining armchair by the fireplace, volunteering to sit on the floor, Tonks playfully shoved him down onto the chair and then flopped onto his lap. Remus chuckled as she wriggled about to get comfortable, swinging her legs over the arm of the chair.

Just as she'd got settled with one arm around Remus' neck to balance herself, Harry approached with a tentative smile. Remus hoped it wasn't because Harry found them as embarrassingly demonstrative as Bill and Fleur -- who he realised, upon casting a glance around the lounge, were actually not attached at the mouth, or the hip, or the hand, or -- miraculously -- anywhere. Bill leant on the arm of the sofa, trading adventure tales with Charlie, and Fleur had cornered Ginny, talking too rapidly to be understood, though Remus was sure from the way Ginny was rolling her eyes and muttering, _Merlin's bald head, not again_ that it pertained to wedding fashions.

"Happy birthday, Harry," said Remus, and Tonks wobbled a bit as he moved an arm from around her to shake Harry's hand.

"Thanks for being here." Harry's grin widened, his face losing all traces of shyness.

Tonks asked, "So have you been up since twelve this morning, doing all the magic you like now you're legal?"

Harry's eyes glinted cheekily. "After the Examiner left, I Disapparated in front of Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon."

Tonks laughed loudly. "Wish I could've seen their faces. Your aunt makes funnier ones than I can morph."

"She'd have been more offended by your hair than seeing me vanish into thin air," Harry said as he lowered his long, thin frame onto the hearthrug, propping his elbows on his knees. His smirk faded, and he glanced away, running a hand through his perpetually dishevelled hair. "I'm…It's good to see you back to…erm…" He half-choked, "...normal…"

"Everyone keeps saying that," Tonks said cheerfully. "Me, normal. Who'd have thought, Remus? Mum'd have Kneazles."

She swung her legs, and for a moment Remus lost himself in her dancing eyes. It was so good to hear everybody saying that, but he was sure no one was happier than he to have Tonks back to normal.

In his periphery, he saw Harry shifting awkwardly, and quickly Remus looked at the young man. "This will be your first Wizarding wedding, won't it, Harry?"

Before Harry could answer, Tonks sat up, kicking Remus as she moved her legs and turned in his lap; she would have fallen off if he hadn't held tightly to her waist -- which was difficult due to the instinct to grab his aching shin.

"Have you been to a Muggle wedding?" she asked Harry. "What are they like?"

Harry shrugged. "I went to one once. It was boring."

"I imagine it depends on the Muggles," Remus told Tonks, then noticed Harry staring across the room, where Fleur was -- not terribly gently -- arranging Ginny's hair and going on about curling charms, ignoring Ginny's baleful expression.

"I assure you, Harry…" said Remus, and at his name, Harry quickly averted his gaze from Ginny.

Remus went on, "_…this_ wedding won't be the least bit boring. Though not nearly as exciting as your parents'."

Harry gestured toward the twins, who stood hunched together near the front broom cupboard, clearly plotting something. "I reckon Fred and George will give Sirius a run for his money."

"No one could ever do that," said Remus.

He felt his smile falter, though not fall completely, and he guessed his matched Harry's, tinged with sadness at the corners, and in his eyes, as they shared a silent moment; Tonks leant her head in the crook of Remus' neck, and his arms tightened around her.

"So, you two," Harry blurted. "How long…?" His eyes, blinking behind his round glasses, darted away as he tugged nervously at his hair.

Tonks raised her head and regarded Remus with a small smile. He recalled his own words from the night before, about Harry being comfortable asking him questions. He must have taken the right approach, then, if Harry -- albeit shyly -- would take an interest in a former professor's love life.

"Most of your fifth year."

Harry's mouth fell open, then he clomped it shut and picked at a frayed edge of the rug. "That's cool. It's just, I never saw…I mean, you didn't let on."

"Oh, but we did," said Tonks with a laugh. "We couldn't believe you lot never cottoned on."

Grinning, Remus added, "Sirius had quite a betting pool regarding when one of you would figure--"

"Whoa! Sorry, mate!"

The room fell silent as everyone stopped to see a startled Bill and Charlie standing back from the open broom cupboard -- where Ron and Hermione once again had been caught in the throes of passion.

"Fancy Quidditch, Ron?" Charlie asked as Hermione blundered out -- bumping into Fred and George, who were laughing themselves to the point of tears -- once again looking as though she had only just become aware of her activities within.

"Actually, Harry," said Tonks, "_that_ was what Sirius' pool was for. When one of you'd catch us snogging in a broom cupboard."

"Now, Nymphadora," Remus admonished softly, as Harry turned bright red.

Tonks tweaked Remus' nose, and her arched brow recalled her previous afternoon's threat. "Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus."

"Quidditch, Harry?" called Bill.

"Not tonight," Harry replied. Neck still streaked with a flush, he glanced up through his untidy hair at Remus. "Erm…Can I talk to you?" His green eyes flicked toward Tonks, then back to Remus. "In private?"

Tonks slipped off Remus' lap. "I'd better do my Aurorly duty and save Ginny from the clutches of psychotic brides."

But Ginny was darting away from Fleur, toward her brothers who were exiting the front door. "I'll be your sixth!"

"Or maybe I'll try and convince Fleur to charm her hair pink," Tonks said, "since it looks nice with the tiara."

Remus and Harry slipped through the lounge to the kitchen to have their talk out back. Molly, separating egg whites from yolks with her wand, caught Remus' gaze with a look that clearly thanked him for agreeing to set Harry straight on the business of returning to school. To Remus' relief, she gave no indication of having read in his eyes his intention to advise Harry according to his apparent need, regardless of what that meant about school; he would not bring it up unless Harry did. Dread settled like a weight in his stomach at the prospect of returning to the house to Molly's displeasure.

When the Burrow door shut behind them, however, the nauseating feeling was banished and replaced by a surge of usefulness and responsibility when Harry, glancing back at the house, asked bluntly, "Am I doing the right thing?"

Remus did not answer immediately, as the tension of Harry's jaw and the furrowed lines of his brow indicated he would elaborate; it was the same look he'd seen James wear so many times, whilst pondering how to voice an elusive thought. But Harry was older than James…

"I…" Harry's voice cracked, and he coloured; then he forged ahead. "I broke up with Ginny because I'm the only one who can kill Voldemort, and I don't want…He could use her to get to me. He could hurt her…" He stopped walking, and his hair fell messily into his face as he ducked his head. "He could hurt all of them…I remember Mrs. Weasley's Boggart. If that came true because of me…"

In the lengthening shadows of the late summer sunlight, Remus thought the laughter of the Weasleys playing Quidditch in the front had an eerie quality; apparently thinking the same, Harry winced. Instinctively, Remus laid a hand on Harry's hunched shoulder. The muscles beneath the jumper were so tense.

"Molly thinks of you as one of her own children," Remus said, because something inside told him it was the right thing, though once he heard it, he wasn't sure it didn't compound Harry's guilt. "Did Ginny understand your reasons for ending your relationship?"

Harry straightened up and, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his baggy jeans, resumed his brisk walk in the direction of the shed. "She took it…great. But it's just…It's hard."

He drew a deep breath, pulled one hand from his pocket, and exhaled as he ran a hand through his hair. "I miss her."

Remus admired his bravery; he'd said no such thing last year on the occasions when Dumbledore had ventured to inquire how he was holding up personally during his mission.

"I know she misses me," Harry went on. "And you and Tonks…You don't think it's too dangerous…"

_"She's going for the Snitch! Stop her!" _

_"I can't send a Bludger at her!"_

_"She's not a girl! She's our sister!"_

_"And a bridesmaid! Fleur'll kill me!"_

_"And she scores because her big brother's a slave to marriage--Oy!"_

Remus chuckled, but became serious when he noted the sadness lacing Harry's amusement.

"There are some things," Remus said as they turned to walk further from the house and the rowdy game, "that are not within our rights to protect the people we love from."

Harry looked up at him with a brow arched above the rim of his glasses.

"Well…" Remus cast about for an explanation, unsure how much to reveal, or of how to put in words what he and Tonks had been through and decided to do. It wasn't about being out of danger; it was taking a leap of faith.

And as Tonks had told Ginny, it wasn't quite the same.

"Neither Tonks nor I face your adversary," Remus said.

He had meant to reassure Harry of his decision about Ginny, but instead Harry looked more deeply troubled.

"I shouldn't drag Ron and Hermione into it, should I?" he asked. "I told them they can't come with me, where I've got to go, but they won't listen."

Oddly, Harry's last words had such a familiar ring that Remus had to smile. "Your father and Sirius were exactly those sorts of friends. When they began learning Animagery in order to help me through my transformations, I struggled with whether it was right to allow them. But in the end I realised it was not _my_ decision to make."

Remus stopped in his tracks. In the weeks since battle at Hogwarts, he and Tonks had taken great strides beyond mere reconciliation, yet he'd been unable to put into words just what had changed inside of him that allowed him to be with her. Now, in light of his past, his jumbled present course with Tonks -- and their future one -- sorted itself.

"If we are to respect those we love, as equals," he said slowly, "then we sometimes must seek their partnership even in matters we would prefer to protect them from. It is a matter of trust. In the end," Remus added, "helping me helped them."

He'd hoped he was helping Tonks, and not just undoing hurt. She seemed to be coping better with the increasing horrors of war than she had this time last year. But her words from last night haunted him: _Sometimes I'm not sure I'm able to give you as much as you need_.

Apparently he had not helped her overcome those feelings of inadequacy he had instilled by separating from her.

"What about school?" Harry's voice brought Remus back to the present.

To the subject Molly wanted them to discuss.

To the answer he'd dreaded giving.

Quietly, Remus said, "No NEWT level classes will prepare you for what lies ahead."

Harry's lips pressed together in a colourless line, then he said, dryly, "Not what a professor's supposed to say."

Molly, in all seriousness, would heartily agree.

Would Lily?

_Don't second-guess, don't look back, _Remus heard Tonks say.

Shoving away the doubt, he asked hoarsely, "Is there anything I -- the Order -- can do, Harry? I understand if you cannot tell us everything, or anything at all -- but if it is our safety that gives you pause, please do not allow it. We've got the whole Wizarding world to think of."

"Actually…" Harry faced Remus and met his eyes. "There is one thing." Seeming every bit a man, he said steadily, "I want to go to Godric's Hollow. See where Voldemort killed my parents. Visit the graves. I need to do it alone."

Remus nodded. There was nothing to say.

"Could you tell me how to get there?"

"Of course."

"Thank you."

Wordlessly, they started back toward the house, Harry veering to go around the front, to watch the Quidditch. Fleur and Tonks sat in a pair of lawn chairs, the former chattering animatedly, the latter with a look of elfin glee that said she was winding the bride up.

"You won't leave till after the wedding?" Remus asked Harry.

"I want to see one," said Harry, shaking his head. Then, green eyes cutting over in the sly way his mother's always had, he said, "Sure you and Tonks…?"

The engagement ring in Remus' trouser pocket felt as though it had been transfigured into lead. Why was he still carrying it? He was not going to propose today, or even at the wedding as he had planned…He was going to have to wait, and be patient. He could do that. Tonks certainly had waited long enough and been patient enough for him. It was his fault she needed time.

"Not just yet." Though he didn't feel it, Remus gave a small smile, because he should have been amused and happy that his mate's son, his former student, felt comfortable enough to rib him about girls. "Do you think Fleur would stand for another bride?"

"Not when pink hair would take all the attention off her." Harry's grin softened, and he glanced down at the clump of grass he was digging at with the toe of his trainer. "I'm, erm, glad for you. I know Dad would be, too. And Sirius."

Remus' chest tightened as the words touched more deeply than any he'd heard in a while, save from Tonks. "Thank you, Harry."

"But don't wait _too_ long."

* * *

**  
__****A/N: As always, many thanks to my readers and reviewers. It's always lovely to know you're enjoying my work. This time, reviewers get to take a walk with Remus. Whether it's for advice, or just banter is, of course, up to you... ;)**


	4. Part Four

******Part Four**

If anyone knew anything about not waiting, it was Molly. When she called everyone playing and watching the pick-up Quidditch in at dusk for Harry's birthday cake, she stopped Remus on the porch.

"You told Harry _what_?" Molly cried. "Remus Lupin, how _could _you? You were their _teacher_,for Merlin's sake!"

Her face matched her hair, and her normally warm brown eyes flared, flecks of gold glinting in the irises. Arms akimbo, Molly's stance left no doubt that she had effectively reared seven children. Remus responded accordingly, backing away from her, feet slipping off the porch step.

Yet Tonks' firm hand on his arm balanced him, and he stood his ground.

"Precisely," Remus said. "Their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. And unfortunately, since my tenure, the classroom has expanded beyond the walls of Hogwarts."

Molly shuddered, and her posture slumped. "What are they going to do?" Her voice remained shrill, but had lost the accusatory edge. "None of them will tell me anything more than helping Harry in his work for Dumbledore. I assume that means Order work?"

"I don't know, Molly." Remus sighed heavily, and reached out to touch her shoulder. "I am certain that whatever Dumbledore has asked is of great importance to the Order."

"_Whatever? _You meant you _don't know_?" She was looking at Remus like he imagined a mother Hungarian Horntail might look at an intruder in her nest, and his hand fell to his side. "_Ask _them!"

Arthur's tall, thin frame appeared in the doorway behind his wife. "It's Harry's birthday, Molly," he said quietly, and Remus noted, with embarrassment, that Fleur and Bill were standing close by, along with the twins, rapt on the scene. "The family are all here. Let's not spoil it."

Molly shrugged away as Arthur's hands settled on her shoulders. "Nothing will be spoilt once we put a stop to this nonsense. Ask them, Remus!"

Tonks' grip tightened, solidifying Remus' confidence more than any words of support could do.

"It is not my place," he said steadily.

"Not your place to protect them? You're the leader of the Order!"

Remus inhaled sharply, yet felt as though he'd had the wind knocked out of him. Tonks' fingers seemed likely to leave permanent indentions on his arm. Leader of the Order? It was news to him. And dizzying. And...Where was Harry? Remus sincerely hoped the young man wasn't hearing Molly assert the limitations of his youth.

"Molly," "Mum," Arthur and Bill rebuked at once, as Fleur added, "'arry is ze Triwizard Champion and ze Chosen One. _Of course_ 'e ees capable of Order work!"

Face getting redder, revealing no sign that she'd heard them, Molly glared at Remus through anguished eyes. "You of all people ought to understand why this upsets me." Her hands balled into fists at her side, and she was shaking. "You promised me the Order would look out for my children."

"They're not--" Remus began at the same time as Arthur, in a strange, choked voice said, "That's not fair, Molly." The latter caught her shoulders and started to turn her inside. "Please--"

The screech of door hinges beyond Arthur in the house, followed by a thump against the wall, cut him off. As the Weasleys turned, Remus peered around just as Harry stumbled backward out of the broom cupboard.

"I'm sorry, Ginny," he panted. "We can't. I don't know what got into me…" He pushed his askew glasses higher up on his nose as he glanced round frantically, mortified. He reached into the cupboard and pulled out his Firebolt."I'm going for a fly."

He pushed through the crowd, and the instant his feet hit the yard, he mounted and took off in a swift motion. Remus glanced back inside as Ginny, face obscured by her dishevelled hair, darted out of the broom cupboard, sobbing quietly.

The twins, oddly pale and wearing the expression which Remus recognised immediately as the one that accompanied a prank gone very, very wrong, went after her, and there was the thunder of feet on the stairs.

"Why are you standing there looking stupid with your mouth open?" Hermione's brusque voice drifted outside. "Go after Harry!"

The next instant Ron, with a grim expression that might have been either anger or anxiety, tore outside, mounted his broom a bit less gracefully than Harry had, and flew after his mate.

For a moment, the Burrow was as still and silent as it had ever been; no one seemed even to breathe.

Then, in a flash of red, Molly whirled back to face Remus. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy as tears streaked down her cheeks, glittering in the lamplight. She looked exactly as she had that night after he'd dispelled her Boggart, and she'd fallen, weeping, onto his shoulder.

This time, Molly met his gaze and said tremulously, "Don't you _dare_ tell me they're not children!"

She staggered around Tonks, muttering about needing more eggs so she could get started baking the wedding cake. Arthur followed, casting Remus an apologetic, but troubled glance.

Remus' heart plummeted into his stomach. Arthur might not agree with Molly, but of course he was equally distressed about his youngest children -- and their friends whom he, too, regarded as his own -- being thrust into this war.

"Don't mind her, Remus," said Bill as Tonks nudged Remus inside and shut the door behind them. "She's going through a lot of changes just now."

"Per'aps eet ees _ze _change," Fleur said.

She was so serious that Remus didn't dare laugh, though he wanted to, very much -- which was a tremendous relief; he wished he could do as Tonks was, and hide his face in her shoulder to rein in the laughter.

"Well," said Bill, amusement in his voice as well as he wrapped an arm around his fiancée's waist, "how about that birthday cake we were all coming inside to eat?"

Fleur looked at him, scandalised. "We cannot eat 'arry's birthday cake without him! And anyway," she went on, wrinkling her perfect nose in a look of utter disgust, "_you _need a shower, and I want to go 'ave an 'eart to 'eart chat weeth Ginny. Zose twins cannot be saying ze things a woman needs to 'ear."

Remus gave in to a chuckle at the image of Fleur towing her hungry husband-to-be up the stairs. He was startled into silence again when Tonks suddenly caught him in a fierce hug, pressing her cheek to his chest. It caught him off balance, and his lower back connected with the broom cupboard doorknob. Shifting off of it, he returned Tonks' embrace.

"I'm sorry Molly had a go at you like that," Tonks said. "You stood your ground brilliantly, and you're right, so don't look back and think you could've done anything differently. She won't stay upset at you for long. It's not really you she's mad at."

Her hair tickled Remus' cheek as he nodded. He raised his head as the earlier question returned to his mind. "Do people really see me as a leader?"

Tonks pulled back slightly and lifted her face. "Molly just said she does. And I certainly do."

Somehow, stated calmly, and sincerely like that, it didn't seem as astonishing as when Molly had shouted it accusatorially. He _had_ been leading meetings lately, and even the night Dumbledore died, people had turned to him with questions about the closing of school, about Bill. Perhaps it had been for a reason other than his first-hand knowledge about werewolves.

"But of all people to upset..." said Remus with a sigh, drawing Tonks close again. "Molly…"

"Even the best leaders can't always do what everyone wants," Tonks interrupted gently; then, surprisingly, her eyes misted, and her voice became high and pinched as she said,"Wish I'd realised that last year. Dumbledore hated sending you underground, and I only made it harder for him to live with…"

Heart aching, Remus pulled her tight against him again, holding her head, kissing her hair. "What have you been telling everyone?"

She sniffled and croaked, "Don't look back."

"That goes for you, too, you know."

She looked up at him again, and her eyes were dry, only a little red-rimmed. "I really love you a lot."

They kissed, and immediately the touch of her lips set Remus' pulse racing and blood surging. He felt the cold metal of the doorknob against his palm as his fingers curled instinctively around it and turned it.

"This is brave," Tonks murmured against his mouth as his back met with a protrusion in the wall, which somehow his muddled brain registered to be the narrow edge of a shelf, and sent something pitching to the floor, "snogging in Molly's broom cupboard."

This was news to Remus. Opening an eye, he found that, sure enough, they were ensconced in the dark, confined space. He hadn't meant to bring Tonks in here at all. Instinctively pulling a girl into a broom cupboard to snog was not within Remus' realm of experience, and it had been a compulsion, not bravery, that drove him to it. He felt sure Tonks was right; it took a great deal of courage, indeed, do so in Molly's house, when she was already upset with him.

He was too intoxicated by Tonks' closeness, by her fingers curling into his hair, by her lips melting into his again, to care. And he was a Gryffindor, wasn't he? Surely lion-hearted courage applied to broom cupboard snogs, as well. James and Sirius had always asserted so. Remus deepened the kiss, and produced the most encouraging sounds from her...

After a moment, however, he found himself caring very much about a question that leapt to the front of his mind, demanding precedence over sensation. Tonks whimpered when he pulled his mouth from hers, and the ragged sounds of their breath made it difficult to resist kissing her again. Resting his forehead against hers, he murmured, "Can I do what _you _want?"

He felt her brow arch. "What?"

Remus took out his wand. "_Lumos_." He set the wand on the shelf he was pressed against, then studied her face in the bluish light. "What do you want, Tonks?"

Tonks' eyebrows remained knit, then understanding lit her features as she found her way back to their previous conversation about Molly.

"Just you."

She leant up to kiss him again, and Remus caught her eyes rounding and lips falling open in a look of surprise -- an astonishment he shared -- as he dropped down on one knee.

His hand fumbled in his trouser pocket, fingers clumsily attempting to grasp the delicate ring he'd carried about for the past two days.

As he drew it out, Tonks gasped. Remus peered up through his fringe to see both her hands fly up to cover her mouth. He smiled because he'd hoped to catch her off-guard, and she was adorable; he frowned because he'd caught her off-guard, and she might not be ready.

But there was no going back now. He wanted to assure her of his faith, and this was the only way he knew how.

He swallowed hard, then heard a hoarse voice that sounded too far away to be his own ask, "Will you marry me, Nymphadora?"

Her hand shot out to clutch his. Her eyes shimmered, and Remus' body had never been tenser with anticipation, not even before transformation, than it was now, as he awaited the answer that would alter everything forever.

Though Tonks was bathed in the bluish light from his wand, Remus knew the ethereal radiance on her face came from an entirely inner source. _She was beautiful._

Dear Merlin: she was about to tell him that she was _his_. _Forever_.

Her full lips parted, but the only sound that emitted from them was her voice catching. She smiled softly, shyly, the tip of her tongue just darting out to moisten her lips. Remus squeezed her hand.

Tonks opened her mouth again, and this time managed a whisper: "Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus!"

A laugh burst from Remus' chest, only to lodge in his throat as the cupboard door suddenly swung open, light flooding in.

There, with a basket of eggs and holding an apron she must have been about to put away, stood Molly.

"Why is everyone so keen on sneaking into this broom--?"

Her eyes fell on the ring, then her gaze pulled back to take in their pose; the apron and basket fell to the floor with the crunch of dozens of shells. Remus felt egg yolk seeping stickily through the knee of his trousers.

"Is that…?" Molly stammered. "Remus, are you…? Oh my…"

She stepped back, and Remus released his breath and the chuckle. He covered Tonks' hand with his free one. "Is that a yes?"

Tonks blushed. "Of course it's a yes."

Their shaky laughter mingled as Remus slid the ring -- a slender gold band with a diamond no larger than a fairy's teardrop, with an even more minute pink and blue sapphire set on either side -- onto Tonks' trembling finger. He vaguely registered Molly's indistinct squeals and the stairs thundering overhead, and then Tonks launched herself into his arms, knocking him backward on his posterior on the egg-covered floor of the broom cupboard.

"Yes, yes, yes!" She followed each word with a kiss. "A million times, _yes_!"

Though Remus hadn't expected an answer but yes, he hadn't been prepared for the way actually hearing the word -- a million times -- rang through him like the most resonant of joyous bells.

But before he could really process just how it made him feel, Molly's voice cried over the cheers and clapping from what sounded like everyone crowding into the small space between the front door and the cupboard,

"I'm so happy for you!" Wiping her eyes as she leant into the nook to hug Tonks, she added, "You deserve happiness, dear."

In the pause, she gave Remus a look that was sincere and apologetic and sought forgiveness. "Both of you."

Before he could thank her, the twins bounded forward, caught their mother's arms, and dragged her away from the cupboard, as one of them kicked a foot back to shut the door in Remus' and Tonks' faces. "Let 'em celebrate!"

"I told you Molly wouldn't stay angry at you," said Tonks, sliding into Remus' lap, legs wrapping around his back as she kissed him lingeringly.

"Mmm, that was my strategy. I thought, _'By Jove! I know how to work my way back into Molly's good graces. I'll propose to Tonks._"

Tonks laughed, and removed a hand from his shoulder to admire her ring. "You just _happened_ to have an engagement ring in your pocket." Her eyes drifted down and scrutinised him with the look she must wear in interrogation settings. "How long have you been planning to propose to me?"

"I was going to wait. I thought the wedding would be a romantic setting."

Another laugh from Tonks made her wriggle on his lap, causing more eggshells to crunch beneath them. "But naturally you realised that _of course_ a broom cupboard was more romantic."

"Naturally."

Remus briefly toyed with admitting to her that he'd been unsure she was ready, but that was looking back; doubt had come from letting his gaze wander from the future. He would not spoil this moment.

Instead, he released Tonks with one arm to stretch upward for his wand. "Bit crowded in here, don't you think?"

"And eggy."

Leaning in to kiss her again, Remus Apparated them to their bedroom.

* * *

**  
****_A/N: _****_One more chapter to go, folks, and in it I promise to reveal the answer to the mystery: "Just what is the deal with this broom cupboard?" _**

******_Thanks ever so much for all your lovely feedback thus far. Your encouragement means a lot to me. This time, reviewers get to pick their ideal Remus proposal..._**


	5. Part Five

**Part Five**

Remus had just cast a _Muffliato _and stepped cautiously into the corridor when Tonks, giggling, clutched the belt of his dressing gown.

He turned, intending to mouth _what?_ despite the precautionary charm, but his lips cracked into a grin at the sight of her. Clad in red teddy print pyjamas and fluffy yellow Pygmy Puff slippers, Tonks stood just beneath the lamp by their door, left hand held up to the light, staring at the new ring on her fourth finger.

"I feel different," she whispered. "Do you feel different, Remus?"

"That depends entirely on what you mean by different." He settled his hands on her hips and leant in for a kiss. "I certainly feel a bit less...urgent...than I did before we celebrated our engagement." His stomach growled. "And I'm a little hungrier than I was when we decided to put on clothes and sneak downstairs for cake."

Tonks' dark eyes danced, and Remus imagined the sparkles in their depths were the reflection of the jewels in her ring. "You _did _work up an appetite."

"Mmm." Remus kissed her deeply, until his stomach growled.

Giggling against his mouth, Tonks asked, "A little more urgent than you thought?"

"Shall we carry on, then?" He grabbed her left hand, smiling as the ring poked his palm -- but Tonks didn't budge.

"By different," she said, "I mean that we've talked before about getting married, but now it feels _real_."

She tugged her hand free of his grip just enough to show her ring. Remus didn't think he'd ever seen a wider, happier smile on her face.

"_Literally_ feelsreal," she said, "with this ring on my finger."

"It suits you," said Remus, lifting her hand so he could inspect the ring more closely, wrapping his other arm around her waist to pull her snug against his body.

He knew engagement rings were supposed to be grand, dazzling flawless diamonds, like the one Fleur wore; yet he couldn't denyhow perfect this ring looked on Tonks' hand. It was neither traditional nor flashy, yet it was beautiful and delicate in its own way. In _her _way.

For all that, he couldn't help but ask, "Do you really like it? I know it's not much…"

Tonks rose up on her toes and gave him a kiss that made him lose his breath and her, her balance. Thankfully she only pushed him into the wall, and didn't topple backward onto the wood floor, though whoever was sleeping in the room beyond likely did not share the appreciation. But Remus was hardly in a position to care too much about anyone's sleeplessness but his own.

"I _love _it," Tonks murmured as she drew back, and it took a moment for Remus to register what she was talking about. "Knowing you, it's _everything_."

"I transfigured a few lengths from my watch chain for the band," Remus said, feeling a swell of pride that he'd thought of it, even if necessity was the mother of invention.

"Your coming of age watch," said Tonks softly.

"It was my father's -- and my grandfather's, before him." He lightly traced the centre stone with the tip of his index finger. "And the diamond is--"

"The timepiece?" Tonks' eyes flicked down, expression more full of wonder than it had been. Her tone became hushed, awed even, as she said, "There's a lot of meaning in that."

"I'm glad you think so," Remus said, and then could say nothing else because his heart had lodged in his throat and he _had_ to kiss her again.

Eventually they stopped and made it the remainder of the distance down the hall, but Remus had to pause again at the landing when he saw Tonks again holding her hand up to another lamp, at the top of the stairs, wiggling her finger to make the gemstones catch the light and refract rainbows on the walls. He'd pressed her against the wall and was holding an inner debate about whether he was hungrier for cake or his fiancée -- what a wonderful word that was, and he was beside himself that he actually had one -- when Tonks asked, "Actually I was wondering about the sapphires."

"The sapphires?"

"Yes," she said dryly. "You know, the blue and pink stones."

"I think I shall have to kiss you for being saucy." He nipped playfully at her lips, then asked, "What about them?"

"What do they mean? Diamonds are forever, but…what are sapphires? Blue for you, and pink for me?"

Remus quirked an eyebrow. "Have you ever seen me sporting blue hair?"

"You know, I might just have to drag you back to bed without any cake."

"Sapphires are for hope," Remus said quickly, brushing his lips across her forehead. "And for peace…" He kissed one eyelid, and then the other. "Prosperity…" He kissed her lips softly. "And fulfilment of dreams."

He pulled back to look in her eyes, and he found them bright with tears before she hugged him fiercely. "I'd be insulted you chose cake over bed if that weren't the most beautiful thing--"

"ARTHUR AND MOLLY WEASLEY! WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU LEARN THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR?"

Remus and Tonks broke apart. He was sure his face mirrored her own: mouth agape, eyes round. The joyful tears had vanished from hers.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS PLACE IS? A BLOODY BREEDING GROUND?"

At the same moment, they bolted down the stairs toward the sound of the twins' commotion. Tonks tripped over one of her slippers and slipped down the last few; somehow Remus caught her arm and the handrail and saved her from an ungainly pratfall. Because of the _Muffliato_ charm and the peals of laughter in the sitting room, no one noticed their arrival. And their attempts at sneakiness proved unnecessary, since everyone was downstairs, wearing an array of sleepwear, apparently having got out of bed for the same reason Remus and Tonks had: Harry's birthday cake stood on the coffee table.

But it had been forsaken for Arthur and Molly -- his pyjama shirt unbuttoned and revealing flushed skin, her dressing gown open and hair in disarray -- looking stunned with their arms around one another in the broom cupboard.

Tonks' head fell on Remus' shoulder as her laughter rang in his ears.

Remus flicked his wand to call off the _Muffliato. _"Fred, George…"

Somehow his voice carried over the mirth. Everyone turned.

"Honeymoon over already?" George asked.

It was a testament to how truly bewildered Molly was that she didn't utter a word of rebuke.

Smiling, Remus countered with a question of his own. "Charmed cupboard?"

"It's our latest product," Fred eagerly pounced on the subject. "Couples can't pass by without stopping for a snog."

"Cupboard Casanovas," George said, "for those awkward blokes who just haven't got the ba--ow!"

Fred elbowed him hard in the ribs as he interrupted, "--brass to seduce women on their own."

"Since your time in the Cupboard Casanova resulted in an engagement," said George, "we'd be honoured to feature you as spokeswizard."

"Except you've just insulted the wizard, you daft gits," said Charlie, stretched out on the sofa clutching his belly as he laughed.

"And your dad, as well," added Hermione in a know-it-all tone that, sure enough, earned her a snide, falsetto reply from George: "And Ickle Ronniekins?"

But while Ron and Hermione blushed profusely, George himself, along with Fred, were almost sheepish as they sputtered insistently that everyone was misinterpreting them; they were sure a born Marauder like Remus had honed his own cupboard seduction skills in his youth.

"Talking of engagements," said Bill, reaching out to shake Remus' hand, "shall we make it a double wedding?"

Fleur went ghastly white, and Remus laughed harder at the mere possibility of what might come out of her mouth.

But Fleur only said, "Do not be silly, Bill. Tonks could not possibly plan a wedding to 'er…_taste_…een two days."

Across the room, Hermione snorted, and Ginny made a hissing sound.

"That's right," said Tonks, voice high and shaky with held back laughter. "Molly offered to lend me that gorgeous tiara for my wedding, and Fleur and I couldn't both wear it if we had a double wedding."

Remus' stomach growled.

"Cake, woman!" cried George, grasping his mother's hand. "Feed this man cake."

"I really don't know where I went wrong with you pair," Molly said, recovering her senses at last.

"That's because you didn't," said Fred.

Molly shook her head, but looked genuinely touched as the twins kissed each of her cheeks.

When everyone was settled in the lounge with cake and goblets of Molly's Elderflower wine, Bill asked his parents who, though out of the cupboard, sat very close together on the sofa and kept casting each other knowing glances over their wine glasses, "What's the secret? How do Fleur and me and Remus and Tonks stand the test of time and end up snogging in broom cupboards thirty years from now?"

"CUPBOARD CASANOVAS!" shouted the twins.

Everyone roared again, but Tonks, in Remus' lap again, regarded him with shining eyes. "Last year seems short and unimportant in light of all the years to come."

His heart pounded in his chest, quickening with more life than Tonks had yet made him feel. He'd never doubted that he had her full and free forgiveness for all he'd done, and all he'd failed to do; yet part of him, he realised now, had been held back by time -- by an unconscious sense of owing her, of requirement to earn that trust.

It was not so.

In promising himself to her, in placing the engagement ring on his future wife, he had gained so much more than the hope of years. He held _all_ their years already.

Guilt had lost its hold.

Remus' heart was completely unbound.

He was --

-- and always would be --

-- a free, whole man.

He kissed Tonks' temple, then caught her hand that wore his ring and brought it to his lips.

Arthur held his wife's hand, too. "You'll make a lot mistakes. Don't look back at them. Just keep looking ahead to the next broom cupboard."

"Arthur," chided a blushing Molly, with a great deal more sentiment than rebuke.

"To Bill and Fleur!" said George, raising his goblet.

"To Remus and Tonks!" said Fred, raising his.

"To Cupboard Casanovas!" they said together, clinking their cups.

"To the future," said Harry quietly, and Remus looked up to see his eyes locked with Ginny's.

Remus held Tonks tighter, reminded that hope was small and solid as the gems in her ring that symbolized it. Faith was a blind leap into a future that lay in the hands of the young man who toasted it, and soon tonight would only be a memory.

But he knew that the look on her radiant face as he slid the engagement ring onto her finger would be the memory that would conjure his next Patronus.

There were some things that were definitely worth looking back on.

Especially when they pointed straight ahead.

_The End_

* * *

**_A/N: All who comment on this final chapter get to have some fun with the mischievous wizard of their choice: Remus, of course, who likes to sneak out of bed for a midnight snack; Arthur, who's still up for broom cupboard snogs after thirty years of marriage; or the twins, who are sure to have as creative inventions for their own love lives as they are for everyone else's..._**


End file.
